Weekend Update 10/28/16

This has been a week of wrestling with my demons. So far I am up 4-2. In other words, I am a bit of a mess. The subject for this weeks edition is hope. Please note that this will also include some bits from the deep cleaning of the inner recesses of my mind. There have been few rainbows and puppies …so reader beware. Hope can be a wonderful thing. Hope has allowed me to feel feelings that I, for whatever reasons, have been unable and/or unwilling to allow myself to feel and, in addition, has been a real denial buster. Sometimes I feel like a nut and sometimes I don’t. This past week has become more nutty for me. My ongoing financial status is the one thing I can point to which has brought me face to face with my life as I know it. Long story short … nothing has changed other than my perception. The reason for this is the ongoing evolution of my understanding that I will indeed be on the planet for the foreseeable future. As such I must act accordingly which means that I must act in the most mature and responsible way I can. This has meant a lot of sitting on my hands and doing nothing. For me this is a very sane and healthy action for me to take. This week continues to be a rollercoaster. At times I feel so grateful I cry a little bit. At other times I have felt so hopeless and depressed that those dark thoughts return and I cry a little bit. Please know that I am holding on tight as this has been and continues to be one bumpy ride. Writing about this week is some of the best mental floss I have ever had. I will give myself some pats on the back for this. In closing I am going to add the following………… May the Bank of America forever burn in the eternal hell fires of damnation. My love and thanks to those people I am so blessed to have in my life. Due to my latest surgery and resultant trips to the doctors/labs things are stretched more than ever at this time so I am asking all to please share my story once again emphasizing that no amount is too small and that $10.00 - $20.00 is better than $0 dollars. A continuing big “THANK YOU” to all who have and continue to share their experience, strength, hope, time and resources. Your time and gifts are, as always, greatly appreciated and needed. I so look forward to the day when I do not need to ask for assistance. This continues to be a very humbling experience. ***Please note that the 12/3/15 post in my blog is one which I encourage you to share freely.*** Please read and share my story. www.gofundme.com/j55wek