Weekend Update - 2/24/17

This will be a short one. Kind of a rough week. I do march on. Enough said. Still waiting on the latest blood work. This is one of those times I need to remain silent. And the old saying is true. Once a social worker, always a social worker. Volunteering to assist other cancer patients and it feels so good. I am asking all to please share my story once again emphasizing that no amount is too small and that $10.00 - $20.00 is better than $0 dollars. I so look forward to the day when I do not need to ask for financial assistance. This continues to be so much more of a humbling experience. A continuing big “THANK YOU” to all who have and continue to share their experience, strength, hope, time and resources. Your time and gifts are, as always, greatly appreciated and still needed. For the big picture please read my blog from the beginning. ***Please note that the 12/14/16 post in my blog is one which I encourage you to share freely.*** Please read and share my story. www.gofundme.com/j55wek

Weekend Update - 2/17/17

A week of remembrance for me. I would not be where I am without those who have freely given of their financial resources. I would not be where I am now without those who have listened to me and shared their experience strength and hope when I have, and have not been, self consumed with fears, doubts, generalized/absolute paranoia, self-pity, self loathing, loneliness, hopelessness, apathy, depression and /or a generalized feeling of being just “FINE”. You know…that F’ed up - Insecure - Neurotic - Emotional state of being. I would not be here know without those who have listened and shared their experience strength and hope when I have been happy, joyous, quiet, mirthful, and generally at peace with myself and the world. I would not be where I am today without those of you who have carried me when I need to be carried and left me alone when I have needed to stand alone. You all have given me the gifts of perseverance and the fierce knowledge that I am not alone. Thank you for taking care of me when it has been needed and above all loving me when I was unable to love myself. OK. Enough of those feelings……….back to that pleasant state of denial and numbness. The frequent thoughts of was that a fart, a shart or an “oh crap” are very tiring at times. There are times when I can easily dismiss these. Other times…. not so much. I am frustrated that I am no longer able to just “get up and go” but have to do a body check and time check on my bowels. I see a couple of my doctors next week. I am looking forward to these visits and tests with positive expectations. I do thank you all for sharing your experience strength and hope which is why I have those positive expectations. And the old saying is true. Once a social worker, always a social worker. Volunteering to assist other cancer patients and it feels so good. I am asking all to please share my story once again emphasizing that no amount is too small and that $10.00 - $20.00 is better than $0 dollars. I so look forward to the day when I do not need to ask for financial assistance. This continues to be so much more of a humbling experience. A continuing big “THANK YOU” to all who have and continue to share their experience, strength, hope, time and resources. Your time and gifts are, as always, greatly appreciated and still needed. For the big picture please read my blog from the beginning. ***Please note that the 12/14/16 post in my blog is one which I encourage you to share freely.*** Please read and share my story. www.gofundme.com/j55wek

Weekend Update - 2/10/17

Sometimes you find peace where you least expect it. This is a week where I have found a little peace with where I am on this journey. It’s good to look at the whole forest and not focus on one tree. There is so much pain in the world but there is also so much more love, decency and common courtesy. Placing one foot in front of the other is simply the best thing to do. Thank you to all who continue to share my journey and for listening to me. And the old saying is true. Once a social worker, always a social worker. Volunteering to assist other cancer patients and it feels so good. I am asking all to please share my story once again emphasizing that no amount is too small and that $10.00 - $20.00 is better than $0 dollars. I so look forward to the day when I do not need to ask for financial assistance. This continues to be so much more of a humbling experience. A continuing big “THANK YOU” to all who have and continue to share their experience, strength, hope, time and resources. Your time and gifts are, as always, greatly appreciated and still needed. For the big picture please read my blog from the beginning. ***Please note that the 12/14/16 post in my blog is one which I encourage you to share freely.*** Please read and share my story. www.gofundme.com/j55wek

Weekend Update - 2/3/17

There are those moments when I just want to stop. I want to run away and just be at peace and/or happy. During these times, after talking with folks, I am reminded I do not know the future. I do know that “ongoing change” is in my future and for someone like me, who does not like change, it is important for me to live as much as possible in the moment. It is also important for me to be as mature and responsible as I can when making decisions. Fear is not a good base to make decisions from. I read a book many years ago entitled “Necessary Losses”. I am reminded of the losses I have endured must endure in the future. Some of these losses were and will be necessary and some have been and will be due to circumstance. Regardless, all will occur. How I live with the losses to come is what I am focused on in the here and now. I know I must fully vet any decisions I make and I know the responsibility for those decisions rests solely on me. So my projects in the coming months will be to fully discuss with friends/family all of my options and the implications of each of those options. I will also be spending some quiet time with myself and my pen and paper as I ponder all of my options. Time marches on as do the bills. Some good news…I am down to just four (4) doctors and blood work is looking good. Some tests/scans in the future but things are looking good now. Thank you to all who continue to share my journey. And the old saying is true. Once a social worker, always a social worker. Volunteering to assist other cancer patients and it feels so good. I am asking all to please share my story once again emphasizing that no amount is too small and that $10.00 - $20.00 is better than $0 dollars. I so look forward to the day when I do not need to ask for financial assistance. This continues to be so much more of a humbling experience. A continuing big “THANK YOU” to all who have and continue to share their experience, strength, hope, time and resources. Your time and gifts are, as always, greatly appreciated and still needed. For the big picture please read my blog from the beginning. ***Please note that the 12/14/16 post in my blog is one which I encourage you to share freely.*** Please read and share my story. www.gofundme.com/j55wek