Weekend Update - 10/30/15

Life does indeed go on for me. Good news this week. I will not have to see my oncologist for another 6 months. Blood work/scans all good. There is a colonoscopy in my near future. Also my viral load is now very very low and the medication appears to be working. Only 4 1/2 weeks to go on this medication. For the results so far I will continue to deal with my “poo poo” undies and the fatigue. Lots of labs to go and months of followup, but my dream of only going to the doctor/hospital every three months just might become a reality in this coming year. The rollercoaster of emotions continues. Most days are good and writing is helping. As the holidays are fast approaching (some might say they are already upon us) and considering that last year, at this time, my cancer diagnosis strongly indicated I would not be alive for the next holiday season, I am grateful just to be here. And I am grateful to all of those who gave of their time, resources and spirit so that I am able to be here now writing this. Thank you is not enough. All I can say and do is to let you know that you are much loved and appreciated. I am in your debt and I will pass on as much as I am able the gifts you have given to me. In the upcoming weeks is the anniversary of my surgery. I consider this my second birthday. So being the almost one year old I am I will do my happy dance on 11/21/15. Wherever you may be I am inviting all of you to do a little happy dance with me on that day. On another note, and in closing, the reality of my financial situation is what it is…. not good. I am asking all to give what you can and remember that no amount is to small. Every little bit helps. I am living month to month, and without the support I have received I would not still be living in my home. Please read and share my story.

Weekend Update - 10/23/15

Reporting live from the Mothership. My journey continues. I am continually amazed at the bills rolling in. My goal is to not have to be seen by any doctor/nurse/lab/hospital for 3 months. The time from “date of service” to when I find out how much said service costs me is sometimes longer than the gestation period of a human being. Even when you try to find out what bills are in the pipeline, no one seems to know. As I have stated before … cancer is expensive. There is a lot of money to be made in the cancer business. There can be, at least in my case, a lot of money to lose if your a cancer patient. Regarding my physical progress…. I continue with the Hep C treatment. So far, so good. Just some fatigue and “bowel problems”. A friend asked if I was going to dress up for Halloween, and if so, what would I be. Well my friends, if I am able to dress up as anything, this year it would be as a big baby wearing only a diaper. And to add to the reality of my costume, my diaper would be “slightly soiled” because it really would be at this point. I am still writing and this is good. There is nothing like writing to encourage those “moments of clarity” that I wish would come more frequently. I do wish that there was not so much pain in the world. Today I am trying my best to live my life so as not to add to it. My financial reality continues to suck, so once again I am asking for everyones continued support. Every little bit helps. I am living month to month, and without the support I have received I would not still be living in my home. Please read and share my story.

And now for a special announcement = 10/20/15

One year ago today I received a terminal diagnosis from my doctor that would severely impact my life. The news being that my prostate cancer had spread into my bladder and said cancer was “on the move” and of a very aggressive type. The million dollar question was what to do now. I had previously been told by my previous doctor there was nothing much anyone could do and all he could do was to put me on hormone therapy. I later found out this doctor’s treatment was horse crap … as said treatment would be like trying to put hot butter up a wildcats ass. In other words this treatment would not do anything other than cost me money until I died. Of course it would also make him a steady stream of income until I died. My new doctor told me he did not believe in doing nothing and proposed a radical surgery which would remove my prostate, bladder, testicles and assorted lymph nodes etc. This would be followed by radiation treatments and I would also end up with a urostomy. This procedure may not “cure” me but would at least buy me some time. The choice of me doing nothing would result in my death .. and my death would not be long in coming. I chose to have the surgery, which is the only reason I am able to write this now. Being told you have terminal cancer was not what I had planned for that day. Being alive and writing this far exceeds any hopes I had upon learning about my cancer diagnosis. For the full story please read my blog. My lesson for today is “I do not know what is going to happen”. So on this, my “cancer anniversary”, I would like to give another round of “THANKS” to all who have walked with me this past year. Much love to all for all of your support and patience…. and love. HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO ME!!! My financial reality sucks, so once again I am asking for everyones continued support. Please read and share my story. www.gofundme.com/j55wek And read my blog at: riksjourney.blogspot.com

added update from 10/17

Weekend Update - 10/17/15

My treatments continue and the world continues to spin. My revelation this week has been “Once a social worker always a social worker”. I have been able to support a friend who has begun chemo and radiation treatments. As people were there for me I am now able to be there for someone else. This has been the highpoint of my week. It feels real good to be of service. My life continues and my writing continues. 

There is a beginning of a purpose for my life to come. I have come to the realization that the powers that be are not done with me yet so I need to get off my rear and “get busy”. 

While my life is impacted by my physical disability and there are added limitations due my cancer journey, there are a few things I can do to be of service to others. It is good to have healed enough to begin to discover the options I do have. It is good to be of use and not view myself as just a burden. 

I do have bad days but also good ones. I am finally able to show up and be an active participant in life. 

To borrow a phrase, “just for today” I will do my best to live and not just survive.

My continued thanks to all who are walking with me. Your gifts of time and resources are much needed and appreciated. 

The financial reality is also once again asking for everyones continued support so please read and share my story.

www.gofundme.com/j55wek

My continued thanks to all who are walking with me. Your gifts of time and resources are much needed and appreciated. The financial reality is also once again asking for everyones continued support so please read and share my story. www.gofundme.com/j55wek

Weekend Update - 10/11/15

This has become a time of reflection for me. A time of looking back on the past year and a half. This time period has been one of tremendous pain and sublime joy. During most of this rollercoaster ride I have been at peace with whatever the outcome might have been. 

I do know I am truly grateful to those who have traveled with me. Those who quietly, and not so quietly, listened, laughed and showed me love. Thank you for sharing with me the things I needed to hear no matter how “receptive” I was. I thank you for showing up and just being the brilliant and wonderful people you are. I would not be here if not for your support.

It is also the time to look towards my future and I am so grateful to have a future. There are challenges to be met and changes I will have to live with. I am 62 years old and between the “age factor” and my physical issues this is a whole new world that I am learning to live in.

I am also writing about how I have arrived at this point in time with the peace I have about my future. That is another part of my story which will be shared here. Like peeling an onion I am finding layer after layer of how and why I am here in this moment and what I truly believe in and about life itself.  There are lots of new lessons being learned by this human being.

My continued thanks to all who are walking with me. Your gifts of time and resources are much needed and appreciated. 

The financial reality is also once again asking for everyones continued support so please read and share my story.