Weekend Update - 05/19/2017

Had to take a week off. I am back. Well, I now know my brain is going bad. I am now a participant in some brain studies. I get free head pictures and a lot of blood and other bodily fluids drawn. I hope this is able to help others in some small way. More on that later….if I remember. My medical condition remains the same. I see more doctors in the coming week. More will be revealed. The biggest change for me has been living without debt since the sale of my house. I am beginning to realize how much time (mental and otherwise) I spent on worrying about bills and if I would even have a place to live in the coming months. I still find myself becoming anxious and moving to depressed until i stop and think about the new fact that I do not owe any debt other than the medical debt. I can afford to pay this without not paying something else and I am still OK financially. I had to lose my house to do this but this was a very much - to my continued realization - a very good necessary loss. My perception of the world and my life has been altered for the better. I feel so much “lighter”. While my world has gotten smaller due to some physical limitations, it is also becoming larger in the context of the increased ways in which I may now engage with it. Enough of my “inside” world for now. It’s time to move on to that “outside” world. I am now going to use my vast mental powers, which some would say are tinted by just a slight touch of paranoia, to predict the future of one donald trump. This is May 19, 2017. I believe he will very shortly come down with a physical illness which will preclude him from finishing his term as our President. This will mean that after he has to resign (so sad….NOT) that all of the investigations into his presidential campaign, his White House, his finances, and the highly probable connections to the Russians in all of these issues as well as the general high crimes and misdemeanors associated with all of the afore mentioned will be dropped. I would hope that his henchmen would still be pursued but I have serious doubts about that as whoever the republicans choose to replace him as president will be handing out presidential pardons to anyone even remotely connected these events - given out - of course - for the good of the country. NOTE: Vice-President Pence will not become president as he will be too closely connected to this shit storm. Our former President, who so sadly had to resign due to health problems, will go on his merry way having gotten off scot-free. He will become a martyr to the republicans who will, of course, blame Hillary, Obama, and the democrats for any difficulties our country will encounter as we go thru this process as well as blame them for the country having to endure this nightmare in the first place. another thought……….. As I walk down the streets I look and wonder about how many of the people I see see me as a “threat”, wish I would disappear, and would gladly do me harm. I wonder if they are worried they might be late for their KKK meeting. I wonder if their relatives are the people who I see in pictures of lynchings. I wonder if their relatives were the ones who participated the violent acts perpetrated against people of color since the founding of this country. I wonder if they are related to the folks who owned my ancestors and/or participated in the almost genocide against my other ancestors. I wonder if the blood that flows thru my veins is some of the same blood that flows thru theirs. I am a product of this country. Genetically I am of all the peoples America and I wonder what would happen if everyone got a DNA test. I am rambling……… In short ….. I do not have much faith in my country to do the right thing and live up to what I see as its promises. I hope I am proved wrong. If so, I will jump up and down for joy and happily admit …………… I was wrong. I really hope I am wrong on this one. For the sake of our children hope I am wrong too. Please read my blog (link below) from the beginning for a complete picture of how I ended up right here right now. It has, and continues to be, one hell of a journey.

Weekend Update - 05/05/2017

Great news! My blood work looks great! All of my systems remain operational….if just a little bit sporadic. Time to move on to other things as I have had enough of the medical issues for now. I have begun the nesting process at my new place of residence. “Smaller” living is good. It has been good to let go of “stuff”. The process of really “examining everything you have” and asking yourself “why you have it” is proving to be very beneficial for me. I have recently experienced quite a few “necessary losses”. I am feeling a lot “lighter” because of it. I am now a year older and can honestly say wiser because of it. I also cannot get that song that says “when I’m 64” out of my head. My quote of the week is directly related to the the fact that I am a cancer survivor and I know first hand the financial shit storm which can (and did for me) result from my cancer diagnosis. My quote of the week - “The only things worse than the republican members of the House are the people who voted for them”. Please read my blog (link below) from the beginning for a complete picture of how I ended up right here right now. It has, and continues to be, one hell of a journey. riksjourney.blogspot.com

Weekend Update (a little late) - 05/02/2017

I saw my oncologist today and the news continues to be good….still have to wait for the last blood work results. All of my other physical issues remain but it does indeed make a difference when you no longer have a financial “Sword of Damocles” hanging over your head. I do believe I am beginning to lighten up a bit by starting to actually enjoy being alive. Returning to the hospital has really put things more into perspective for me. I am alive. I have a life … not an existence. My thanks to the other folks who I chit-chatted with this morning. I am also beginning to make where I now live my home. I might just be here for a little while. I do believe I have succeeded in killing off most of my roommates (the little brown brothers). I was really fortunate that in my former home I did not have the “little brown brothers” problem. In other news………my country continues to be a right wing shit show. I dream of waking up one day and not having to hear about the latest republican plan(s) to make america great again. Please note I did say republican - not trump. The donald is nothing more than an useful idiot being whored out by the republican party. Please remember this. I do hold out a slim hope that enough folks in this country will show up and vote, be out in the streets, and otherwise resist this current government. Democracy is not a spectator sport. I also hope that the left in this country finds its voice and realizes it too lives in the United States of America …. not the United States of Fantasyland. Put those rose colored glasses down and stop quoting republican/right wing talking points. When I do listen to the news I am further dismayed because of the subjects not being talked about and the normalization of trump and the republican minions political, financial, and social agenda for this country. I no longer wonder how the nazis came to power and did the horrific things they did with the acquiescence of German people. Way to many of the american people not just ignorant but willfully so. Add to that the level of racism in this country and I find myself being grateful for being as old as I am. At least I will not be around to watch this whole country implode. The level of stupid in this country makes the folks in the movie Idiocracy look like Rhodes Scholars. The republicans have not only thrown the measuring bar for intelligence on the ground but keep digging a deeper hole to keep throwing it into. The stupid…it burns. My quote of the week - Buckle up buttercup, trump’s going to blow us all up. Please read my blog (link below) from the beginning for a complete picture of how I ended up right here right now. It has, and continues to be, one hell of a journey. riksjourney.blogspot.com