Weekend Update - 2/17/17

A week of remembrance for me. I would not be where I am without those who have freely given of their financial resources. I would not be where I am now without those who have listened to me and shared their experience strength and hope when I have, and have not been, self consumed with fears, doubts, generalized/absolute paranoia, self-pity, self loathing, loneliness, hopelessness, apathy, depression and /or a generalized feeling of being just “FINE”. You know…that F’ed up - Insecure - Neurotic - Emotional state of being. I would not be here know without those who have listened and shared their experience strength and hope when I have been happy, joyous, quiet, mirthful, and generally at peace with myself and the world. I would not be where I am today without those of you who have carried me when I need to be carried and left me alone when I have needed to stand alone. You all have given me the gifts of perseverance and the fierce knowledge that I am not alone. Thank you for taking care of me when it has been needed and above all loving me when I was unable to love myself. OK. Enough of those feelings……….back to that pleasant state of denial and numbness. The frequent thoughts of was that a fart, a shart or an “oh crap” are very tiring at times. There are times when I can easily dismiss these. Other times…. not so much. I am frustrated that I am no longer able to just “get up and go” but have to do a body check and time check on my bowels. I see a couple of my doctors next week. I am looking forward to these visits and tests with positive expectations. I do thank you all for sharing your experience strength and hope which is why I have those positive expectations. And the old saying is true. Once a social worker, always a social worker. Volunteering to assist other cancer patients and it feels so good. I am asking all to please share my story once again emphasizing that no amount is too small and that $10.00 - $20.00 is better than $0 dollars. I so look forward to the day when I do not need to ask for financial assistance. This continues to be so much more of a humbling experience. A continuing big “THANK YOU” to all who have and continue to share their experience, strength, hope, time and resources. Your time and gifts are, as always, greatly appreciated and still needed. For the big picture please read my blog from the beginning. ***Please note that the 12/14/16 post in my blog is one which I encourage you to share freely.*** Please read and share my story. www.gofundme.com/j55wek