Weekend Update - 03/03/2017

My mind is a swirling nexus of thoughts, contradictions, possibilities and visions of my future. I look into the mirror and see smoke coming out of my ears. I am so damned self-obsessed right now. So what follows in this posting is some much needed mental floss. Surrender is such a process. It goes on even when you are completely oblivious to it. The unknown can be a scary thing especially when your own fears, doubts and paranoia are added to the mix. I am doing my best to be as mature and responsible as I can be. One step at a time. Trusting the process. Even going to the park and sitting in a quiet secluded place and reflecting on the meaning of my life as well as life itself. I do not like change for it has uncertain outcomes. However my circumstances dictate that change I must. Even the possibility of letting go of things (or anything for that matter) is terrifying to me at times (like right now). 
 I am trying very hard to look at my life and remember that somehow I have survived. Also to remember all of the events, circumstances and downright insane occurrences I have lived through. I look at my life and I do accept that there has been an extraordinary amount of GRACE granted to me …… or just plain dumb luck. My spirit tells me I cannot discount the large amount of GRACE I have been gifted in my life. I do not know what the future holds but as I am still here I am hoping I will be OK no matter what. I am doing my best to hold onto what a very good friend recently shared with me. It just might be my time to thrive. Would not that be a hoot. FYI - Good blood work this week. And the old saying is true. Once a social worker, always a social worker. Volunteering to assist other cancer patients and it feels so good. I am asking all to please share my story once again emphasizing that no amount is too small and that $10.00 - $20.00 is better than $0 dollars. I so look forward to the day when I do not need to ask for financial assistance. This continues to be so much more of a humbling experience. A continuing big “THANK YOU” to all who have and continue to share their experience, strength, hope, time and resources. Your time and gifts are, as always, greatly appreciated and still needed. For the big picture please read my blog from the beginning. ***Please note that the 12/14/16 post in my blog is one which I encourage you to share freely.*** Please read and share my story. www.gofundme.com/j55wek