Weekend Update - 12/23/16

It is again that most wonderful time of the year. And in keeping with one of my new traditions … It is once again time for a homage to my journey with cancer and (in particular) for all the great gifts it has and continues to bestow upon me especially this past year. Last year at this time I was quite overwhelmed with the fact that I was still alive. This year I am so very grateful to be able to be still alive and able to write the following ….. a few items with tongue planted firmly in cheek and a few not so much. While there is some repetition please be reminded I hold all of these gifts in equal esteem. Oh the memories keep adding up. 1. A brand new urostomy for me. 2. No more testicles for me. 3. No more “urge incontinence” …. due to no bladder. 4. A prostate gland no more … where it all began. 5. 43 lymph nodes disappear and a couple in my neck are now gone too. 6. Radiation treatments and the everlasting radiation colitis. Really Nasty. 7. All of my thyroid gland now removed.*NOTE: Nothing strange growing inside me anymore! 8. My diagnoses of lymphedema, fecal incontinence, diabetes and the old pals of chronic pain, depression and mobility issues. Let’s get this party started! 9. My pal Crippling Debt is still here. New bills that no longer have “insurance pending” on them. 10. Still discovering whole new levels of friendship and family and finding out I am wanted, needed, expected and loved. *A special shout out to a friend who is showing me a level of strength that I could not have dreamed existed. 11. Experiencing even more new depths of the meaning of perseverance. 12. Still finding out my losses are the source of my greatest gains in how positive I can choose to view the world and the human beings in it. A much deeper perspective on my life. My thanks to the cancer support group. 13. Being grateful for what I have, acknowledging I have the ability to be a more positive force in the world and to be at peace with myself. 14. Finding out, again, that in the end it comes down to me and the choices I do and/or do not make. 15. I must rely on my faith, what I alone believe in, if I am going to make it through to the end of this journey and not attempt to write the end of my story myself. This week I am facing down my depression and am doing my best to plug into those support systems which will nourish me. Those who know me know I am not a big fan of change… but change I must. The most significant change is in facing down my belief system. Owning all of my belief system, acting accordingly and facing down one of my old demons by even more truly not caring what anyone else thinks. More will be revealed. I am very aware of just how fortunate I am to have the family and friends I have as part of my life. I am extremely grateful for the gifts I have received. Thank you. And the old saying is true. Once a social worker, always a social worker. Volunteering to assist other cancer patients and it feels so good. As the holidays are here, I ask all who would like to give to please donate as one of my greatest needs is to continue to be able to pay my bills. Due to my latest surgery and resultant trips to the doctors/labs things are stretched more than ever at this time so I am asking all to please share my story once again emphasizing that no amount is too small and that $10.00 - $20.00 is better than $0 dollars. I so look forward to the day when I do not need to ask for financial assistance. This continues to become so much more of a humbling experience. A continuing big “THANK YOU” to all who have and continue to share their experience, strength, hope, time and resources. Your time and gifts are, as always, greatly appreciated and still needed. ***Please note that the 12/14/16 post in my blog is one which I encourage you to share freely.*** Please read and share my story. www.gofundme.com/j55wek