Weekend Update - 2/19/16

Weekend Update - 2/19/16 It has been a good week. I have successfully gone to the loo almost without incident! What does it say that this is the most astounding accomplishment of my week? For me it says I had a very good week indeed. The word of this week has been fear. Personally, fear of the future status of my medical conditions. Add to this fear of my “finances”, fear of being “alone” and fear of “what will happen next” in any part in my life. Fear of what others think of me because of my illness and how it effects my ability to go out and do things. In other words it is, at times, very easy to be very afraid of almost everything and, of course, afraid of the unknown. In my attempts to understand my fear and to send “it” on a permanent vacation to the Falkland Islands, I have become very aware of many messages of fear I encounter in my daily life. Most, if not all, are encountered anytime I turn on the TV, read a newspaper or go on the internet. And once I begin to really think about what I am listening to, seeing or reading I reflect on one of the most true acronyms I have ever encountered in my 62 years on this planet. Said acronym being ……… F alse E vidence A ppearing R eal According to the information I am bombarded with each day I should be afraid to eat - possibly, in some way, anything I eat might kill me, or at the very least, make my life a living hell. I need to be afraid of my body because something inside just might try to kill me. Well, enough said about that. I should be afraid to breath… because the germs/dust monsters in the air and your air ducts, on your bedding, on the countertop and yes, especially in the bathroom, will, at the very least, make you sick before they kill you. NOTE: I have not even left the house yet……… Listening the local news and news of the world ….. well, we are all screwed aren’t we. I will not begin to mention politics. And to go “outside” and interact with other people ….. well let’s just say I am doomed if I do that. What brought this to the forefront for me was an interview with a well known author on the radio. I will now “borrow” the gist of what she discussed because I have had the exact same thoughts and feelings. Imagine you are at home relaxing and watching TV. On comes a commercial that extolls the virtues of a “wonder drug” which is pitched by a famous person. A choir sings the praises of said drug and how necessary and important this drug is for you and that you must immediately ask your doctor for it so you will be able to continue to live. (NOTE: this last sentence …. OMG OMG OMG …. I gotta have it now!) There is just one thing missing…….. What condition(s) is this drug prescribed for? This is never revealed. And that is how, insane living with fear can be for me. So, just for today, and future days, FEAR can take a hike. When I stop and reflect on just the past couple of years of my life I know that, in spite of everything, I will, at the very least, be OK. Especially if I treat others as I would wish to be treated and if I do what I can for those whom I can help in some small way. Goals for the future … to be able to laugh and just have some fun. As I have said before, without humor, what do we have. My big tests are scheduled for next month an I am actually looking forward to all of these … except the “colonoscopy II”. I am not going to say any more about that. Once again … in closing, the reality of my financial situation continues to be what it is…. not good. I am asking all to give what you can and to remember that no amount is to small. Every little bit helps. I am living month to month, and without the support I have received I would not still be living in my home. A big “THANK YOU” to all who have shared their experience, strength, hope, time and resources. Your time and gifts are, as always, greatly appreciated and needed. ***Please note that the 12/3/15 post in my blog is one which I encourage you to share freely.*** Please read and share my story. www.gofundme.com/j55wek