Update - 9/30/15

This is a time when my journey consist of putting one foot in front of the other, continuing to breath in and out and to continue to do my best just to do take the next right action. The impact on my life as a result of my “health issues” over the past year is becoming more clear. 

Being previously disabled (before cancer, etc) I had learned to “work around” and/or do my best to ignore the limits imposed by my physical condition on my day to day life. I came to accept these limitations and act accordingly …. for the most part. 

Now I am facing new limitations on my day to day life and learning what these limitations are as well as what they may be in the future. The impact of this new reality for me is most sobering. I am deeply reflecting on the loss of activities I am no longer to participate in. I am sad. I am also determined to, once again, “work around” these new limitations and to do my best to show up for life as much as I am able.

Part of this journey is looking at my life and becoming more aware of the regrets I have. I will share this much. I regret not being brave enough to trust my family or friends with who I was as I was growing up. I was terrified of being rejected and being alone. There is a part of me which is aware that “I did the best I could with what I had” and “hindsight is 20/20”. 

I can accept how truly clueless I was and the pain and sadness I created for those in my life. I am truly sorry for this.

Please note: I am also quite aware of just how clueless I still am. There is a great peace with knowing you do not know and are just along for the ride. My plans are to work hard so have a great end to this ride.

I am still waiting to hear regarding the Hep C treatment. I have been approved but am waiting on whether or not I will receive financial assistance for this. I was told my co-pay for the drug would be $3500.00. More will be revealed about this …. hopefully soon.

Living with diabetes is an added expense and inconvenient but has been a blessing in regards to my diet. I am still amazed at how much crap I was eating while I thought I was eating “healthy”.

I was also reminded that while I do have my problems there are others out there who are in far worse shape than I am. My visit to the hospital today reminded me, once again, of this fact. Perspective…. is good.

I do believe this update is long enough. 

My continued thanks to all who are walking with me. Your gifts of time and resources are much needed and appreciated. 

The financial reality is also once again asking for everyones continued support so please read and share my story.