Update - 9/20/15

Once again I am at the crossroads of whether or not I should be honest about where I am emotionally, physically and spiritually. The reason being is my concern “what other people think” and how they react (or don’t) when my news is not all “good cheer”. As a result, I must share the following. 

I am not looking for “magic words of wisdom”. I do believe there are times when there are none to be had. The best gift is one of time spent with a good ear and the peace that comes with quiet. Add to that good  discussions with and about others lives. A great way to help me look around and be in touch with the rest of the world and not be so self-obsessed. This perspective is worth its’ weight in gold. My sincere thanks to  those who continue to share their trials and tribulations with me.

Emotionally there are times when I feel like a “nut” and times when I don’t. Through all of these hills (mountains at times) and valleys there has been that part of me that knows I will be “OK”. I also know that for me there was a greater peace when my prognosis was terminal. I had a definite plan of action and my worries became almost nonexistent. 

Now that I am in remission (except for the questionable bit of my thyroid gland left) and doing much better, in spite of the new illnesses (diabetes and hepatitis C), my continued survival has brought with it very legitimate concerns as to how I am going to pay my bills and be able to hold onto my home of the past 15 years. Of course living as a cancer “survivor” comes with its’ own set of concerns and emotions. 

Physically I am now being reminded why I was already disabled when my journey with cancer began. Chronic pain is now back on the menu, not that it ever left. And, to be polite, going to the bathroom will never be the same again. Enough said about that.

Spiritually… I am now writing about the times when I have come face to face with life and death. I will share this part of my story when it is done. I am finding this is difficult to write about but I am finding this very necessary to do at this time. As I have shared with many others ….. better out than in. I also believe this will be of service to someone out there, just as the writings of others have been of service to me.

My continued thanks to all who are walking with me. Your gifts of time and resources are much needed and appreciated. 

The financial reality is also once again asking for everyones continued support so please read and share my story.