Weekend Update - 1/13/17

The past few weeks have been about surrender. I have surrendered (and am possibly still surrendering) to one of my basic truths. Said truth being: I cannot wrestle with “God” and win. Said “God” being the God of my understanding which, to my limited understanding and by my personal belief system, being defined as the “Powers That Be” - “the Great Mystery” - “Star Stuff” - and the great fact of my own personal encounters with events which I can only describe as spiritual in their very nature. Further, these events are things I cannot deny. They are part of my truth. Also have come to believe (again) that I cannot continue on my journey without spiritual support and guidance. Said guidance primarily being me getting out of my own way, shutting up and following directions and having faith in the fact I do not know what is going to happen. Now it is living with the after effects of my journey with cancer. Surrendering to the fact that cancer will forever be a part of my life and I had better quit “wishing” and start “living” the life I have been re-gifted. As such is the case I must continue to write about my journey, show up for life to the best of my ability and be realistic by practicing humility by asking for the help I need. To lighten the mood here I can tell you that Depends (the adult diapers) are not cheap and if I had a dollar for every load of clothes I am now having to wash I would be able to shut down my gofundme page. Visits to the doctors/labs continue with mostly good news being the norm at this time. Please know that I am very very happy about this. And the old saying is true. Once a social worker, always a social worker. Volunteering to assist other cancer patients and it feels so good. As the holidays are here, I ask all who would like to give to please donate as one of my greatest needs is to continue to be able to pay my bills. Due to my latest surgery and resultant trips to the doctors/labs things are stretched more than ever at this time so I am asking all to please share my story once again emphasizing that no amount is too small and that $10.00 - $20.00 is better than $0 dollars. I so look forward to the day when I do not need to ask for financial assistance. This continues to become so much more of a humbling experience. A continuing big “THANK YOU” to all who have and continue to share their experience, strength, hope, time and resources. Your time and gifts are, as always, greatly appreciated and still needed. ***Please note that the 12/14/16 post in my blog is one which I encourage you to share freely.*** Please read and share my story. www.gofundme.com/j55wek